SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE DIVORCE

Save your Marriage before Divorce

A happy marriage is one of the finest things life can offer. Everyone wants to have a happy marriage. But after some time different kinds of problems appear in our life. Many people give up on a marriage too soon, and too many marriages end up collapsing by unresolved difficulties.

What happens if none of those things from the beginning of your relationship are happening any more such as: the little favours, cook your favorite meal, buy you something special; those little things that showed you he/she cares about you? Knowing that you may be losing the person you love is hard on anyone. You are probably feeling scared and confused, not knowing what to do next. If you feel that your marriage is in crisis, don’t show your partner that you’re panicking; try to keep calm and in control of your emotions.

Both of you need to remember that no matter how bleak things seem, it is possible for many marriages to get back on course, but both husband and wife should be willing to cooperate. The important thing is to stay calm and to know what to avoid and what to aim for to make the relationship work. You can save your marriage even if your partner wants a separation, divorce, or doesn’t love you anymore. But to stop divorce you need to avoid doing what hurts your relationship, knowing that there’s always a hope to save your marriage.

Jealousy is one of the reasons why most people get divorce, but is not the only one. For instance, If your spouse found out your act of infidelity and that’s why she wants to get divorce, the hardest thing you will need to do is to rebuild trust in your relationship: always be on time home, do what you say you do and be honest. Also, never lie to your spouse again, communicate clearly all the time, take time to reassure your spouse if she feels insecure. show her affection on regular basis and also be patient with her.(same thing applicable to the woman)

As I said, there are many other reasons why people get divorce. This is usually a big mistake so try first to do all the sacrifices that are necessary to save your marriage.

-first and the most important is to identify your problems; take an honest look at the relationship and determine what the problems are; truly express what is disturbing you in as much details as possible; look for solutions rather that blaming your partner

-if you are guilty for this situation, show her/him your companion, respect and affection. Remind your spouse how much you love her/him and put meaning from the heart into those words

-start doing things that were usually done when both of you were still madly in love

-express your feelings, communicate your feelings honestly and openly as you can

-establish open dialog and begin to compromise and heal; discuss about your feelings and come to an agreement about what you feel the relationship needs

-also you have to learn to listen as well; the things that are brought up should be treated as guides so that the couple will learn how to respect each other’s feelings and points of view; she may talk about what she is feeling regarding the relationship vice versa

-you have to work hard to understand and change what is bothering your partner in the relationship; even if she still loves you, she may see some persistent problems in you, and that’s why she may have lost hope for the relationship because of them; you have to understand better your partner’s perception of these problems

-if you are getting stale on your sex life, talk to each other, spend more time alone just the two of you, go on a vacation

-open yourself to the fact that any issue can be understood and interpreted in a variety of ways, otherwise you will continue to stay in a rut

-learn to internalize and understand that your partner is not you; both have to find ways to empathize with the other’s point of view

-appreciate the value of the other’s experience in the way that is different than yours

-don’t allow old negative behavior patterns to swamp the present moment

-This is very important…learn to forgive and forget; learn to forget anything and accept one another; bringing up the past will not save the marriage; one must learn to forgive the spouse and forget all the mistakes from the past

-seek both for a solution; remember that you are two different people; is not about who is wining here, it’s about respect, intimacy, growth and emergence(I must add this…AVOID A 3RD PARTY rather go for counselling)

-set goals to work as a couple, such as: to communicate without arguing, to attempt to do things as a couple, to find an end to your problems, and also write down your feelings and allow the other to read them

-last but not the least, be patient; your marital problems did not crop up overnight and they will not be healed overnight; discuss all the emotions that you both feel until you are centered and ready to begin afresh.

So, if you have some problems in your marriage, wait first to see if that marriage can be saved, don’t be in a hurry to get divorced. Always have to think positive, that there is a hope to save your marriage no matter how many problems appear in your life. And remember that to have lasting satisfaction you need to know how to keep love and good feelings alive.

Published by Adanne Chukwudi Udejiofor

Hello, I'm Ardarrh, a blogger,freelance writer and editor. I can help with any writing tasks you may have. How I can help? Assessing your content Is your existing content falling short of the mark? I can asses your website content. Copywriting Whether your blog or website content needs a refresh or a boost of click-worthy articles, I can help. My copywriting services include website content, blogs and articles, product descriptions, all tailored to your audience. Creative campaigns Time to get creative? I love ideas and we can work together on digital and integrated campaigns. NEED MY SERVICES? Send a mail to ardarrhchudi@yahoo.com Whatsapp: +2348036961238 Call: +2349064226498 See you at the top.

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