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TRUST IN RELATIONSHIP

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It is nearly impossible for love to without trust. If one person within the relationship constantly feels as though the other is sneaking around or hiding secrets, or perhaps has even been caught being unfaithful, this can damage the trust in a relationship.

Mutual trust can be a strong basis for a healthy relationship. When that trust is breached, not only does one partner feel betrayed, disappointed and cheated, but the other partner can often feel enormous guilt.

These negative emotions can lead to other problems within the relationship, including communication problems and insecurity.

Building and earning another person’s trust and respect takes time, especially after catching your partner out on something major, like an affair or a significant lie. Only you can know whether you’re prepared to forgive a major breach in trust.

If you do decide to work on mending the relationship you should also be prepared not to throw the indiscretion back in the other person’s face at every opportunity. When you’ve told your partner you’re willing to forgive what’s happened, but then immediately make them feel bad for it all over again at every opportunity, you’re holding a grudge, which can break down any work you’ve done towards trying to fix your relationship.

Mending the Misunderstanding

If the trust in your relationship has been destroyed, trying to cling to your partner or not let them out of your sight is not going to make things better. You’ll end up smothering the other person and making them feel suffocated. Your own fears about them repeating the problem are creating even less trust, which can spiral into a vicious cycle.

Holding a grudge and reminding your partner about their behavior regularly is also a sign that you’re not willing to forgive and move on. Your partner may begin to feel as though it’s all too hard if you’re not willing to work on more positive ways to get through a bad patch.

Communication and understanding are vital when you’re trying to mend a breach in trust. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. If he or she is truly sorry for the behavior and seems honestly regretful about it, then there’s a chance that it was a mistake and won’t be repeated.

However, there are some occasions where it may be possible to consider if you want to remain in the relationship at all. Only you can know if you’re willing to forgive a breach of trust.

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Boost Your Savings

According to studies, saving money is not as popular as it once was. Saving is extremely important to the quality of life you expect to live in the future. Think about it, what would happen if your car suddenly quit working? What would you do if the heater or refrigerator within your home just decided to give up one day? Imagine a situation where an emergency occurred and you had to travel immediately for some reason, what would you do?

Saving your money within an account can be an excellent source of immediate funds for an unexpected emergency. It makes a great deal of sense to simply put away money into an interest bearing account for these types of events, instead of having to take out a loan or bill a credit card for them. If you do either of these things will result in more debt and higher interest payments. Many experts believe that you need to set your priorities in the right direction and you should attempt to, over time, save an equal to your salary over a three month period.

Many people may find this a lot of money to put back when bills need to be paid, that is fine, consider saving as much as you possibly can without setting yourself into a deeper hole. If you simply saved 5,000 naira a week over a three-month period you would have saved 60,000 naira (not including any interest accrued), that would likely pay for a broke refrigerator or a significant amount on a new or repaired heater. There are many different types of savings accounts that you can consider, some of which do not require substantial deposits.

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SELF IMPROVEMENT

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF IMPROVEMENT

Hello dear friends. I will startup this topic with scenarios for better understanding.

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Wooh… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad would still work things out.”
You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of wine. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read through her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?… Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks of the same thing.
sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody else.” More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us.- when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.

We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to know.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she’s around, and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in her environment.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when w are together?”. In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

See you at the TOP.

ARDARRH CHUDI

Live Your Life

Adanne Chukwudi Udejiofor

A woman said to me recently…”I space my kids 5years apart” and I asked why?She gave 2reasons”Because of what people will say””My mother spaced her kids 6years apart”What???
Here’s what I want to point out from this short conversation. I absolutely do not have any problem with her spacing. That is her personal decision. I only have issues with her dogmatized belief.How can your life be dependent on what other people think? How can you compare 2020 to probably 1960s. Do you care to find out why your mother took that decision?
Alot of people fail to progress in life because they allow people to have a negative influence over the way they think, feel, or behave. When you give people such power, they take over your life.
Don’t give people too much power over your life.Don’t allow someone else’s opinion of you to dictate your self-worth
Establish healthy boundaries. You decide who to allow into your life. Avoid people who take up too much of your energy. Don’t waste your mental resources on toxic peopleDon’t change your goals because you were rejected.
Don’t invest your time into talking about people that you don’t like.Are you aware you invest every minute you spend thinking about someone you don’t like, is 60 more seconds you give that person.
In conclusion, It’s impossible to live your best life when you’re focused on pleasing people.

Tired? Don’t Give Up

Giving up and letting it go should never be an option for you. For the fact you are among the human species speaks volume. That said when you look in to human individuals — life is not that easy. people pass through different challenges every day. and when you face setbacks after setbacks, problem after problem, it can be very difficult to remain optimistic. It gets very tough to remind yourself that you are strong and that you can get through whatever problem you are facing. When life is tough, giving up seems to be the easiest way out.
But the truth is, giving up should NEVER be an option for you. when you feel like giving up, there is a LOT of untapped inner strength inside of you that you perhaps don’t know about or haven’t realized. Use that untapped strength to your advantage.
There are so many reasons why you should keep going after your dreams even though its somewhat difficult
Being Alive
There is only one sure thing in life and that is death. Sometimes I hate talking about death but the bitter truth is… we won’t live forever. We all have our time frame on earth. As long as you are alive you have no excuse to give up. One thing I have learnt over years is you achieve whatever you put your mind to. If you put your mind to it, you can do anything — anything is possible. I know this might sound like a cliché but I find this to be extremely important because it reminds you of the ticking clock that is your life. Every second you spend procrastinating or overthinking or are frozen with fear is a second closer to the inevitable yet only certain thing in life, your death.
A lot of people might disagree and say this is a morbid way to think, but honestly, I disagree because death is the biggest motivator. Understanding that I have limited time always spur me to action and helps me to balance my priorities. Most problems and challenges in life when likened to the ever-looming shadow of death always seem minuscule and is a good reminder to keep going. I CAN continue because I’m alive and I will continue and never giveup.

Tired? Don't give up
Adanne Chukwudi Udejiofor

According to Christopher Reeve, So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. The only accepted excuse to give up is that you are dead…
Believe in Your Dreams
Believe in yourself even when others don’t.it is also very imperative to disassociate yourself with people who makes you feel lesser of yourself. I have been there. Bad communication corrupts good manners. You have to believe in yourself for others to believe in you. Now let me ask you this pertinent question – Would you give up on your family, your spouse or your children? Then why would you give up on yourself? You and your dreams are worth more than that. Don’t sell yourself short and don’t allow anybody bring you down. If you can dream it, you can achieve it and guess what? your dreams and aspirations are WORTH PURSUING. There have been millions of dreamers even before you imagine if they had given up the world would not have been what it is today.
When Wright brothers tried to make “flight” a reality. People laughed at them, ridiculed them and told them it was an impossible dream. But guess what? They proved the world wrong, and today flight and airplanes are now considered a common means of travel. Now tell me, if they had listened to people discouraging words and gave up on their dreams probably today we would still be taking “ships” across the ocean and to travel from Nigeria to London would have taken you someweeks!

Believe in your dreams, pay no attention to nay Sayers. Everybody cannot encourage you. You have to know what you want and go for it. Never give up on your dreams! Take that bold step today just the way the Wright Brothers did and leave a footprint even when you are long gone.
Langston Hughes will say- Hold fast to your dreams, for without them life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
You Possess Everything You Need
Everything you need to achieve your goal is inside of you already. The truth is, people who are successful are not very much different than you. So stop making excuses for yourself! yes you heard right. You have gotten all that it takes to make your dreams come true.
Be appreciative for your God-given capabilities and strive for success. You have got all that it takes, you have all the tools inside of you to endure and keep going. Do you think great minds like Martin Luther King Jr. or Steve Jobs never dealt with worries or difficulties? They definitely did but they never allowed their fears and anxieties stop them from achieving their dreams and their legacies were built only after they endured, pushed through and they never gave up!

Don’t Give up to Regret Much Later in Life
Personally, I feel regret is the worst feeling a person can feel. Do what you have to do now and Don’t put yourself in that regret position. Tony Robbins created a “Rocking Chair Test” which he uses with his clients and utilizes the powerful feeling of regret to motivate and inspire people to push through their anxieties. It goes like this:
Take a moment and imagine yourself at 85 years old. You’re in your rocking chair, reflecting on how you’ve lived. Imagine your life if you did whatever it is that makes you anxious or fearful; maybe it’s changing careers, learning to fly a helicopter or taking a trip somewhere new. How do you feel? What’s your life been like as a result of the decision? – Tony Robbins
Prove It to Yourself and The World That You Can
A lot of people are just there to see you give up. It is better to fail and try again than to fail and GIVEUP. You have to prove to yourself and to the world that you are strong and that you know where you belong and that you can achieve your dreams.
When it comes to life, I want you to always have an “underdog mentality”. As DJ Khaled very notably says on Snapchat “THEY DON” T WANT YOU TO WIN” and this is absolutely true. The “they” in this context are all the successful people in the world who want to hold you back and do NOT want to give you any piece of their pie. You must fight and never give up. Imagine if Steve Jobs gave up and didn’t fight till his dream was achieved and let the “they” of his time win. We wouldn’t have smartphones and and everything else that we today take for granted.
In conclusion, don’t let anything or anyone stop you from your goal. Like I said before true failure isn’t when you fail, but when you fail and give up on your dreams. Know this now, you are capable of achieving what you set your mind to and quitting is only for weak minds.

Shoe Dog

Who doesn’t want to know how the other guy did it, particularly when the other guy has achieved near-legendary success? Knight is more well-known as the co-founder and one-time CEO of Nike, Inc. than as an author, and he shares some of the keys to his success in Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike.

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Becoming Who You Desire to Be by Developing Your Personality

Becoming Who You Want to Be by Developing Your Personality

Personality development is a unique tool that can really take you to places you never expected. It can also help  improve on many areas of your life, including your finance, health and total well being.

However, before you start your personality development journey, you need to first know your personality. What personality type do you belong? What strong points do you have in your personality traits? What are the weak points in your personality? What measures are you taking to improve on your weak points and to make even better your strong points? When you honestly provide answers to these questions, you can then move to the next step, which is the main personality development.FB_IMG_1518245487457

First, to develop your personality, you need to spend adequate time with yourself. This approach will help you be in touch with yourself. It will also help you to learn more about whom you are and what you do. By doing this, you will be able to challenge yourself. The next step to take is to find the way forward; without ambiguity clearly state what you want to see in yourself despite your weaknesses and strength. You need to be true to yourself, stringent and realistic in making this decision. Do not be too hard on yourself, this is because being unrealistic will cause you disappointment which if not properly handled can lead to low motivation. Hence, do not be too soft on yourself either as this can slow up personality development process.

No one is above mistake. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes. Forgive yourself for any mistake you must have made in time past. It will be useless trying to do personality development with a low moral and a bitter attitude, because your attitude and mind will hinder you from taking necessary actions and steps towards your personal development goal. To overcome your failure of the past, you need to view all your past failures and mistakes as a stepping stones to your future success. Personality development also needs flexibility. You don’t have to be rigid about it. You should be open to other opportunities that may come knocking. You cannot be rigid and expect personality development to work for you. It is good to focus but do not fix your goals because some adjustments might be needed along the way.

The journey will be easier and more enjoyable when you tune your entire being to personality development. It can be much more fun by drawing and making pictures of what you really want to achieve. This will work perfectly because the human mind finds pictures more exciting than mere thoughts and plans. Another process that can hasten the goal of personality development is reading and listen to material that aids your personality development. Have in your collections relevant audios and books that will make personality development an interesting and possible venture to you.

DIVORCE ADVICE

Happy New Year Beloves.

Please i need your recommendation. One of my customers grew to become pal goes thru a tough time in her marriage. Her #1year marriage is about to crash.
Her hubby needs a #divorce. When i requested his purpose(s) she stated due to the fact she has #nochild yet. “But dats no longer in reality the motive Ardarrh. He is cheating on me. I have gone for medical check and i’m adequate but he has refused to get tested. Moreover we both have kids from different partners before we got married. He doesnt speak to me, he doesnt take care of me or aid my business, he has introduce another woman to his mum, he doesnt make love to me,if he subsequently does, its forcefully. Its no longer with love. I AM TIRED.”

PLEASE YOUR ADVICE WILL GO A LONG WAY.